This weekend was a good weekend. Yes, I worked a full two days of it (Friday night until 11:00). Sunday from 14:00 to 18:00 and Monday from 08:00 to 17:00, but I also had a birthday braai for my husband and spent some quality time with him for what felt like the first time in years. I really love spending time with him when he let’s me. With “lets me” I mean I didn’t really realise it but he has had his walls so high up for so long I forgot what the man on the inside of the walls look like.
Since he met with his biological sister he has let me be there for him. He’s been vulnerable with me and I could take care of him emotionally. I know I haven’t been perfect with him, but I feel like I really stepped up for him. Now I must just remember to take care of him emotionally. Something I can probably only do if I first take care of myself emotionally…
I must continue to figure out my emotions and how to attach to people… And how to be a normal human being. It’s difficult though but I think I’m learning…
I've got borderline personality disorder. I'm divorced. I'm in my early thirties. I'm really confused.
I'm in a relationship. I'm an entrepreneur. I'm honest. I like to think I'm a good person. I'm definitely an empathic person. I'm a caring person. I try to make the world a better place.
I experience extreme highs and extreme lows. I have difficulty processing emotions. I have difficulty maintaining relationships. I've got an extreme fear of abandonment. I'm still learning how to be a better me.
I have low self-esteem. You'll have to look very far to find a more loving person than me. I love deeply and fiercely.
I love dogs. I love dancing, writing, poetry. Occasionally my posts include poetry. Most of the time it's just me talking to you.
It helps me process things. It helps me remember things. It helps me create a sort of constant reminder of who I am.
I'm grateful to those of you who read my posts and leave a helpful comment. I try to include helpful links to resources and stuff, when I can.
This platform means the world to me. I've met some really wise, amazing and supportive people. Thank you for giving me a space where I can literally just be me - no holds barred.
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Hope Whispers 