I went to boot camp this morning. It felt really good. Hubby encouraged me to go and that was the last push I needed. He says I would never have done it just for me. I would have the intent but not the conviction to push through, which would keep me stuck in a loop of thinking, wishing and planning a lot but not doing. Why is it so difficult for me to do things for myself? Just for me? Because it makes me happy? Why does it always have to be such a fight? If I don’t make money from it or don’t make somebody else happy because of it or don’t gain tangible results from it (as in a clean house) I don’t do it. Hubby is right. I really can be such a dick 2 myself. I need to write this down to remember that getting up and letting myself relax and think of nothing other than how to survive the next exercise is okay. Not just okay. I’m desperate for it. I need it. It makes me happy. And I deserve happy.

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