What a week! Trigger warning

Omw what a week! Straight out of hell if you ask me! So first off… I had what must be the most embarrassing humiliating experience of my life when I pooped myself on my way to a radio interview that we were SO excited to get! Then… I figured out just how difficult life was when my emotions are low AND my husband is emotionally nonexistent. I was so low and emotionally abandoned that I realised… I CAN’T GO ON LIKE THIS. It’s fine and “well” (and I guess I mean barely tolerable) when things in my life are going my way to ALWAYS be spending my energy on trying to make him feel better and trying to earn his attention… But when things are not going my way and he is still not there… That to me is (apparently according to the emotional response I had) unacceptable. I always thought I would kill myself when he left me. That was legit my plan. But this week I did the unthinkable and felt the unfathomable… And I told that I love him more than anything in the world, but I can’t stay if this is the way it’s going to be… I gave him 3 months. A whole lot of crying and breakdowns and tantrums on both sides later… He went back to therapy today and he is working at going back2basics… Eat, sleep, exercise, routine… Im just thankful that something is moving in the right direction. After all I don’t want to leave. I’m just so emotionally empty that I won’t have a choice if he continues down the rabithole… It would be drown or swim… Away… And apparently somewhere on my unbalanced path I’ve found some balls and self love, enough to say… Well if those are my two options I accept them and I’m swimming… So I guess to sum up… It’s been a pretty shitty 💩💩💩week, but I’m swimming. And if I wasn’t trying to laugh I’d be crying. At least I’m trying.