There is something comforting about solitude.
I’ve missed you. I’m sorry I’ve been a bit quiet. The last few weeks have been rough to be honest. I’ve been marketing for our newest event non-stop – just sending the one direct Linkedin message after the other… I feel like a Linkedin message by now, to be honest.
I’ve been having lots of sex though. The guy next door… Well, he has a high sex drive and so do I. And ever since I’ve gotten the divorce and he’s been being there for me…a little bit, it just kind of happened naturally… We’re not in love. And he has been very clear with me about not wanting to fall in love… I mean I get it – he’s been hurt. If you think my life has been rough you don’t even want to begin to hear about his. And I mean – in reality – I deserve more this time… Not more than him, but more than just falling for the first guy to look my way…just because I have a need for being loved, being cared for, being less alone… This time I’d like to be sure you know. And he’s right – you can’t just become sure just overnight.
Its a process and one I deserve to follow for the first time ever… Anyway…now I have a bladder infection…I think. I also might have gotten Clamidia from one of they guys I had over in an effort to try to heal a bit of my heart…. I just wanted to have some fun okay…don’t judge me too harshly…
But I do enjoy our chats. I mean, I haven’t checked in in a while, but its nice to know that there’s someone to talk to, somewhere to go, somewhere less lonely, somewhere just a little safe… With no one to judge me, no one to hurt me, no one and yet many someone’s that kinda care…don’t judge. I know I’m a little messed up right now. I might be for a while, but I want to believe, no I do believe that I will get better, become more than I am right now and who knows… Perhaps I won’t even be lonely in future anymore. Perhaps I’ll find love or even better…perhaps I’ll find myself and a place inside of me that I can call home. Lets see. Only time will tell.
Anyhow, I’ll keep you posted… And thanks for being here.
PS: Business is tough right now, but I am hopeful. Since I started the new company about 4 months ago its been a wild ride… I can really see the potential. Now its just down to grit and determination and maybe a few smart strategic moves…I can do it.
Listening to my favorite ghuru…such a comforting voice whilst writing this… Think I’m gonna do some more marketing now… #ThatNeverGiveUpAttitude
Yours in whispers; with lots of Hope,