Self care

I woke up super anxious and having thoughts like “none of it makes a difference anyway. Why even bother to try… ” I was planning on working on my business today, but I felt so negative. I didn’t want to work today. Usually, I would just force myself to work and suffer the consequences, but today I decided to give myself a break. I decided to be on my own side. I’ve been working a full time job and on the side I work at my own business for about 6 months now. I do an average of about 75 hours per week. No wonder I’m tired. ‘Normal’ people work 45 hours a week and get tired. It’s okay to be tired.This was a new level of self compassion for me. I’m not sure what sparked the change, but I think it’s progress. Although my business lost a day’s work from me, I gained confidence in my ability to look after and take care of myself.What did I do then, if I didn’t work? Well I tried something new. I tried to not deliberately plan activities according to the outcome I want. I tried to give my brain a chance to just be… So as thoughts came up like… “I’ve read enough now” and… “I’m hungry” I actively tried to listen, take note and respond to fulfil the need. Like I said, this was a completely new experience for me, but I think this is good. I think it is progress.

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