The bad day was a good day after all #grateful

Today was one of the worst days ever, but I ended up feeling so loved, so secure.See, being borderline is especially difficult when you try make a career out of entrepreneurship. Entrepreneurship involves people, people and more people. And I suck at working with people!Oh it always starts out just great. Everyone loves me when I’m in people pleasing mode and I love them, because… well they love me. But as the relationship progressed the cracks start to show… I get tired of always being nice… They respond with surprised irritation or frustration or hatred when they realise I’m not exactly who I pretended to be… My worst fears come true. I get abandoned shunned and rejected and prove to myself once more that I’m not lovable…But not this time. Not today.I had a fight with one of the business partners this morning. He feels he is working more than enough hours for the business. I feel anyone that can take off 4 hours at a time during business hours doesn’t deserve to be a start-up entrepreneur! So the true feelings came out. Both of us are ‘stubborn’ I guess. Both of us find conflict difficult and constructive conflict impossible. Both of us are super stressed. His wife just had a baby… I’m juggling a full time job with my entrepreneurship job. It’s a whole mess really…So we had this fight that ended with everything unresolved and both of us through the roof with anger. I was picturing the end of the world and the end of our business venture in my head.But then I did one of the smartest things I’ve ever done. I told him to call my husband (also a partner in the business) to arrange the ‘urgent’ meeting that needed to follow our unresolved conflict.When I got home I had an apology waiting on my flock and a husband that had taken care of everything. Somehow he had gotten the donkey partner to get back to work and no urgent meeting was needed anymore. The business wasn’t ending and it wasn’t the end of the world either…Look I’m still super stressed, but I guess I realised today that quitting is really not an option that’s on the table now. The only way out of this is through it and apparently other people have realised that too. I’m not on my own. I’m not alone and I didn’t get abandoned.I also now realise that self-sabotage is an actual real thing for me. It’s strange but in some weird way I guess this bad day was a good day after all.

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