Today I need to pause to recognize the fact that today was a good day. Don’t get me wrong it wasn’t all butterflies and sunshine. In fact it was a rainy day. I worked 10 hours, well excluding smoke breaks of which I took 2… I got up at 05:30 and got home at 18:00. My business probably won’t make a profit this month. My water and electric bill still isn’t paid. I haven’t figured it out yet. I’m not on holiday and I haven’t made my first million, but still… It was a good day.
I found joy in doing a good job on one of the tasks on my technical list for the day (the kind I’m usually good at). I found relief in finally finishing off one of the jobs that I spent way too many hours on doing (in accounting that means I didn’t do a good job). I found comfort in knowing that my husband loves me so much that he spent the last part of last night talking to me when he got home from the pub. It felt like we related. He even made me breakfast and left it in the microwave for this morning (he doesn’t get up as early as me). I found hope in the fact that my business partner took some initiative in making a difficult call to a client (one that I told him I am not making).
I wasn’t too anxious during the day today. I used 15 minutes of lunch to go to gym. The work colleague that went with me (lets call her Iron Woman shall we) comforted me by saying that “Sometimes you don’t have to do everything 100%, you just have to do everything 1% better and you’ll be fine”. She says I’m in a lucky position to be worrying about ” do I quit my job and focus on my business or do I quit my business and focus on my job or do I just keep juggling and praying that things stay in the air.” I also, by some miracle, decided to organize some of my clothes, providing me with easier access to warmer clothing now that the weather is turning into winter.
Somehow my circumstances today was still the same, but also completely different. I guess perspective really does make a difference. And perhaps having boundaries in place that caused me to not work the WHOLE weekend is a good thing. Also, it probably doesn’t hurt that I took the initiative to get my doctor to put me back onto 100mg sertraline a day.
Overall I feel happy, like today was a good day.