I figured out what is making me sick. Over the past 3 months I blogged about sudden anxiety, low self-esteem & uncertainty (self-doubt). Before I had felt confident enough to stop my medication, but now I all of a sudden had out of control anxiety (again), and I didn’t understand why.
It’s because I’m dealing with a narcissist manager at work. I knew she was a bitch. I watched myself lose all respect for and trust in her. My subconscious labeled her childish, stupid and a threat, but I didn’t realise until it was too late what I was dealing with. Only yesterday when a file magically disappeared and then reappeared and I found myself questioning my sanity, I suddenly recognised a behavioural tactic – gaslighting. I mean I knew she was childish and emotional but now also willing to stoop to this level of psychological attack? No thank you.
I’m currently deciding how to act next but I can’t really see this ending with us parting ways amicably. I also can’t see myself willingly staying and subjecting myself to this abuse. I also can’t see the boss realising the validity of my plight and standing with me to resolve the issue.
I will keep you posted. I need you now more than ever.
I've got borderline personality disorder. I'm divorced. I'm in my early thirties. I'm really confused.
I'm in a relationship. I'm an entrepreneur. I'm honest. I like to think I'm a good person. I'm definitely an empathic person. I'm a caring person. I try to make the world a better place.
I experience extreme highs and extreme lows. I have difficulty processing emotions. I have difficulty maintaining relationships. I've got an extreme fear of abandonment. I'm still learning how to be a better me.
I have low self-esteem. You'll have to look very far to find a more loving person than me. I love deeply and fiercely.
I love dogs. I love dancing, writing, poetry. Occasionally my posts include poetry. Most of the time it's just me talking to you.
It helps me process things. It helps me remember things. It helps me create a sort of constant reminder of who I am.
I'm grateful to those of you who read my posts and leave a helpful comment. I try to include helpful links to resources and stuff, when I can.
This platform means the world to me. I've met some really wise, amazing and supportive people. Thank you for giving me a space where I can literally just be me - no holds barred.
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Hope Whispers 