I figured out what is making me sick. Over the past 3 months I blogged about sudden anxiety, low self-esteem & uncertainty (self-doubt). Before I had felt confident enough to stop my medication, but now I all of a sudden had out of control anxiety (again), and I didn’t understand why.
It’s because I’m dealing with a narcissist manager at work. I knew she was a bitch. I watched myself lose all respect for and trust in her. My subconscious labeled her childish, stupid and a threat, but I didn’t realise until it was too late what I was dealing with. Only yesterday when a file magically disappeared and then reappeared and I found myself questioning my sanity, I suddenly recognised a behavioural tactic – gaslighting. I mean I knew she was childish and emotional but now also willing to stoop to this level of psychological attack? No thank you.
I’m currently deciding how to act next but I can’t really see this ending with us parting ways amicably. I also can’t see myself willingly staying and subjecting myself to this abuse. I also can’t see the boss realising the validity of my plight and standing with me to resolve the issue.
I will keep you posted. I need you now more than ever.