If this is who I am then I deserve to know

It’s a little bit funny…

This feeling inside.

When all I want to do is get out there

and at the same time hide.

You can tell everybody

that this is a show,

but somewhere inside you…

reality grows.

This hide and seek life continually loops

and I’m the girl in the spotlight, by the lamppost

in the corner of the room.

I watch porn because it makes me feel dead inside,

Is that to honest? Possibly.

But now that it’s out at least

it’s out there anonymously.

Sometimes I feel I’ll never ‘get’ myself, but then again – no,

If this is who I am then I deserve to know.

It’s been a long time avoiding,

so much shame so much guilt,

so mixed up in worlds

filled with hurt to the hilt.

And you can tell everybody,

That now you know me,

The truth will be very simply

You can’t know what you can’t see.

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