Its been 4 months

Its been about 4 months since I walked away from my first kiss, forever love, now ex-husband… And it has hurt. I’m not gonna lie. I still crinch when I think of all the pain I still have to deal with. And to be honest I haven’t been coping in the healthies of ways…

I’ve had many men over…but I’m not getting what I need…I never do. They just become names and faces that blur into a blurry past with the rest of my thoughts that I’m too afraid to face. Being vulnerable is really daunting. But I think I might be strong enough. I hope so.

Anyway, I’m taking a break from men for awhile as I can actually notice that its affecting me negatively. I’m starting to feel…I guess, the need to protect myself? Is that good or bad? I am not sure, but I’m done with just using and being used… I’m ready to attempt to take care of myself. Don’t hold your breath.

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