Its been about 4 months since I walked away from my first kiss, forever love, now ex-husband… And it has hurt. I’m not gonna lie. I still crinch when I think of all the pain I still have to deal with. And to be honest I haven’t been coping in the healthies of ways…
I’ve had many men over…but I’m not getting what I need…I never do. They just become names and faces that blur into a blurry past with the rest of my thoughts that I’m too afraid to face. Being vulnerable is really daunting. But I think I might be strong enough. I hope so.
Anyway, I’m taking a break from men for awhile as I can actually notice that its affecting me negatively. I’m starting to feel…I guess, the need to protect myself? Is that good or bad? I am not sure, but I’m done with just using and being used… I’m ready to attempt to take care of myself. Don’t hold your breath.
I've got borderline personality disorder. I'm divorced. I'm in my early thirties. I'm really confused.
I'm in a relationship. I'm an entrepreneur. I'm honest. I like to think I'm a good person. I'm definitely an empathic person. I'm a caring person. I try to make the world a better place.
I experience extreme highs and extreme lows. I have difficulty processing emotions. I have difficulty maintaining relationships. I've got an extreme fear of abandonment. I'm still learning how to be a better me.
I have low self-esteem. You'll have to look very far to find a more loving person than me. I love deeply and fiercely.
I love dogs. I love dancing, writing, poetry. Occasionally my posts include poetry. Most of the time it's just me talking to you.
It helps me process things. It helps me remember things. It helps me create a sort of constant reminder of who I am.
I'm grateful to those of you who read my posts and leave a helpful comment. I try to include helpful links to resources and stuff, when I can.
This platform means the world to me. I've met some really wise, amazing and supportive people. Thank you for giving me a space where I can literally just be me - no holds barred.
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Hope Whispers 