So I promised I would check in more often

Hey You,

So I promised I would check in more often. This is me doing that.

Apparantly I had a dream last night about an Eric person. I said “No, Eric, don’t do it like this” or something. I don’t know an Eric so that’s weird. However, it wasn’t a nightmare or otherwise I would’ve remembered it, so I’m grateful.

It feels awkard to check in everyday though. I’m kind of thinking like WOW, that’s a lot about me. How can I spend this much time talking about me, but I did say I’d try to do this so.. and I guess it is good that I practice being more aware of myself…

So let’s see…

Today I felt very unsure of myself. It felt like I’m not sure of what I’m supposed to be thinking or feeling. I wasn’t sure whether or not I am loveable or worth loving.

I also discovered that I feel like if I don’t achieve something for the day, I shouldn’t be loved for the day.

That is heartbreaking, isn’t it?

So I guess my work is to be a rebel and start loving myself anyway… break the rule and just love myself.

I walked for 15 minutes today – to the shop and back, because my car is still being fixed and because I started a wellness challenge with the entrepreneurs in my tribe. I’m supposed to do 15 minutes of movement per day for the next 10 days and apparantly that habit will start building a whole lot of positive change in my life.

I didn’t get time to crochet today and its already past bedtime. That makes me sad. And it makes me feel like I should’ve done better today. At the same time I did a lot today.

I spoke to a prospective new monthly client. I did a lot of Linkedin farming (marketing). I read and actioned all the emails and whatsapps. I mean, I didn’t get everything on my list done, but I did do a lot. I trained someone on how to do the graphics and social media posting for our Youtube Channel so that work will hopefully get done without me in the future.

I also had a productive coaching session with our business coach. I’m wondering if he is mad at us. I don’t know maybe I’m just being paranoid. I hope he still loves us.

I spent 15 minutes on Wysa working on positive thinking. It helped make me feel a lot better than I was feeling.

I think my self-esteem is really low and I’m kind of contstantly wondering if I’m good enough. Sometimes I feel like a waste of space. Have you ever felt that way?

I need to start thinking kinder thoughts about myself. I’ll get there.

I did make myself tea. And I let myself have a bath with the calming music playing in the background so I’m trying to be nice to myself.

My partner’s ear is hurting and I think he is getting a headcold.

I am worried about not having everything under control, not getting through my to-do list everyday. Apparantly its normal to not get through your to-do list – if you do, you have problems – that’s what my business coach said. I guess the key is just to look after yourself and be as productive as you can be. Hope for the best…work as hard as you can, but also take care of yourself.

I’m not 100% yet. I can feel that. But I’m doing much better than last week at least I’m sure.

I also had a call with my family. It was nice. I love them. I’m glad things between us are getting resolved. Life’s too short to live with too many regrets.

I am stressed because there are a lot of big things I want to get done and one big thing I need to get done and I’m not sure if I actually will be able to.

The thing is emails and whatsapps take a long time to resolve everyday. There is so many clients, so many people that want to talk to me on a daily basis that need things from me. When you add all the 5 minute tasks together it can eat up the whole day very quickly! I wonder if I can do emails and whatsapps every second day.

How do other business people do it?

Tomorrow I’ll try what my business coach suggested – starting with a solid two hours of solid work on something big, then meetings will happen and in between I’ll just have to get to the whatsapps and emails I can get to. The rest will have to wait.

But I’m not gonna let work eat my whole day when I do this. Tomorrow I want to make time for meditation, crochet, walking / moving and updating my blog again so that will be priority over emails and whatsapps.

I have to write out a list of all the tasks that need to be done to make my business function on a daily basis – that is coaching homework. I think I’ll do that first. After that I’ll start working on the document I want to make that explain the benefits of being one of our clients. Everything else must filter in between.

I’m too tired to update my planner book now, but maybe I should just quickly do it.

Anyway, how are you doing?

Thanks for listening. It does help to have someone to talk to about these mundane things. 🙂 I do feel a little bit calmer everytime we speak :).

Lots of love,

Ariel

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