Less Alone

Lets face it.

I am less alone right now than I was back then,

when I was

married to him.

I’m more a woman

than I was back then too.

And whether that’s because of me

or because of you

I’m grateful for it.

That’s progress.

PS: Also its nice on nights like tonight to be able to read some of my previous posts… Whether they are journal entries, poems, scribbles, whispers… they’re mine…and they mean that I exist. And existing means that I haven’t given up…yet.

Listen to/ watch the audio blog entry over here:

Can we?

Can we remember the hurt?

Can we remember the pain?

While you teach me to be whole

again?

Can we remember the laughs?

Can we remember the tears?

That is what life is right?

Its bitter-sweet?

Sweet, yet bitter

like something forbidden on the tongue

like the tattered dreams on which I hung

our future tomorrows

our future kids

I thought…

but who thinks anymore, right?

Not like this.

And if hope whispers,

and my ship does come in,

can we laugh whilst crying

and be whole again?

The moon and the scars

Listen to Video Blog Entry on Youtube:

The moon and the scars

shines the light on her scars

She would’ve been embarassed before,

but that’s not the case anymore

Maybe its because of him

Maybe its because of her

Maybe its because of time

As we all know that time heals…

And we all know that feelings feel…

uncomfortable

most of the time

Slip-knotted slip rhyme

But the moon on her skin

lights her path from within

touches the rose of her lips

all the way down to the tips

I was with him last night

I’m by myself tonight

In the sunlight

Everything seems different though

And the stars

fell from her eyes

And the moon from her skin

As she cried, as she broke, as she spilled

from within

Maybe everything

was never supposed to be

Everything at all

This is how an angel falls

The tears run down her face. She makes no sound.

Like blood flowing freely from an open wound.

So do the tears flow from her eyes.

Her laugh is silent.

Although these days she hardly ever laughs like she used to.

The wolves have all but stayed…

Eating her up from the inside out.

Like a candle that burns brightly, flickering through the night

When it burns too violently, it will soon burn out

Engulfed.

By the dark.

The darkness lives inside her.

Like a nightmare, like a spider

Like a something that was never

and was never meant to be.

Loneliness is her company

no matter how many people she sees

because her heart has gone a bit fridget

a bit broken,

A bit unhinged

Slightly crazy

Not always all there

She cannot remember

A time that she really cared

Not anymore

The hands of men have burnt scars on her body

The tongues of women have left just as many

Its her soul that’s at risk here

Its her heart that cries over spilt milk

Its her everything

and nothing at all

This nothingness

This is how an angel falls.

This poem was inspired by me listening to one of my new favorite songs during the period in which I was waiting on my divorce to be finalised…